Crank - 01 Page 17
5) Scott’s losing his anger
long enough to teach
me to drive. Getting
my driver’s license when
Grandma left me her
obnoxious (but mint) ’75 LTD.
4) Jake, sharing his Internet
research on fetal
development. Did you
know that a fertilized
egg, 36 hours old, is
the size of a pinhead?
3) Sorting through 35,000 names
in the Dummy’s Guide to
Naming Your Baby,
opting for the strong,
masculine moniker
Hunter Seth.
2) Epidurals. I meant to do
Lamaze, really I did,
but I managed to miss
most of the classes.
Here’s to labor, without
unimaginable pain!
And …
The #1 Best Thing
about those seven months:
Holding
my baby for the first time,
knowing just how to do it.
Thinking
his red, scrunched-up face
was really quite handsome.
Unwrapping
the blanket to count fingers,
eyes, ears, and toes,
Finding
all twenty-four, precisely
where they ought to be.
Crying
because suddenly,
for the first time
in a very long time,
everything felt right.
Lows
10) Morning sickness. Puking
my guts out as soon
as I lifted my head
from the pillow, each
and every day
for weeks and weeks.
9) Listening to Mom and Scott
argue. About me.
About the baby.
About the odds
of it being some
sort of freak.
8) Trying to quit tobacco
after learning how
every puff made
my baby’s heart
stop beating. How
could I be so hooked?
7) Going to school (before
my “condition” became
obvious) an outsider.
Knowing my old
friends and I had lost
all common ground.
6) Boredom. The succession
of little-to-do
days, stretching
longer and longer
toward the longest
day of the year.
5) Long letters from Chase.
USC was great.
The football team
was great. Los
Angeles was great.
Great enough
to call it home.
4) My dad’s silence. He did call
once, to confirm Linda
Sue’s tale. Then not
a word, as if not talking
about it could make
the “problem” disappear.
3) Losing Grandma, just when
I’d found her again.
A waterfall of flowers
brightened her funeral,
but they couldn’t disguise
the stench of death.
2) My water breaking, mid-Walmart…
Contractions,
uterine lightning
bolts, striking
immediately
and not letting
up for 18 hours.
And …
The #1 Worst Thing
about those seven months:
My steady, needful, forever
relationship with the monster.
Learning
that “addiction” is much more
than a buzzword.
Discovering
how very much it applied
to my “me first” psyche.
Struggling
not to give in to inner voices
much stronger than my own.
Winning
most of the time, gritting my
teeth and “just saying no.”
Losing
in those moments
when the world
I’d created for myself
closed in around me.
Happy Endings
I’d like to give you one.
But I’m not really sure
how this story ends myself.
Being a mother is hard
A lot harder than I imagined.
My baby boy is beautiful.
I sense an Old Soul within him.
But he cries a lot and he
doesn’t really sleep like a
newborn should. No lectures,
okay? I accept my part.
I watch my mom with my son,
loving him, as she must have
loved me. She’s patient when
he cries. She paces him to sleep.
I wish I could be like that. But
I’m only 17.1 feel like life is passing
me by as I stand here on the deck,
listening to him fuss inside.
Sometimes I want to curl up in
a ball and roll away. Sometimes
I just want to die. I only know one
thing that can make me laugh again.
Crank is more than a drug.
It’s a way of life. You can
turn your back. But you can
never really walkaway.
The monster will forever speak
to me. And today,
it’s calling me out the door.
A Reading Group Guide to Crank by Ellen Hopkins
PREREADING QUESTIONS
Why might teens begin using drugs like meth even though they know the dangers?
How might drug addiction impact a family?
What scars might drug addiction leave for generations to come?
DISCUSSION QUESTIONS
How would you describe Bree? Is this the same way that Kristina would describe her? Where did Bree come from?
For Kristina, what is the lure of crystal meth? What does it provide for her? What does it take away?
Describe Kristina's mother, father, and stepfather. Are they in any way responsible for her addiction? Do you think that there's anything else they could have—or should have—done to help her?
Why is Kristina drawn to Adam? To Chase? To Brendan? In what ways are these three similar and in what ways are they different? How does Kristina's relationship with each one affect her?
Which boy is most harmful to her?
Why does Kristina decide to keep her baby? What reasons might she have had for giving it up? Do you think she made the right decision?
Why does Kristina always call crank "the monster"? How do you think her renaming of the drug affects her attitude toward it and her sense of responsibility regarding it? Are there other things or people in the story that get renamed? How does this affect the way in which they are regarded?
Kristina sometimes refers to herself and her life before drugs as boring and worthless, yet at other times she seems to regard it as something very precious. What attitude do you think is closest to her true feelings? Do you think those around her would agree with her assessment?
The author chose to write this story in verse. Why do you think that she chose this format? What effect does this have on how you feel about the characters and events?
What is the overall message of this book? Do you think the story will act as a deterrent for teens who are considering drugs?
ACTIVITIES
As we can see in Crank, poetry allows us to express ourselves in new and creative ways. Write a poem or series of poems about something that has happened in your life
Choose a drug—crystal meth or some other drug that you've heard of—and research its effects on the user. Find out exactly what it does in the body, how
long the side effects last, how much it typically costs, and any other pertinent facts.
Kristina has an alter ego who allows her to be more careless and daring. What would your alter ego be like? Choose a name, list all the character traits s/he would have, and list the things that s/he could help you do. Imagine what your life would be like if you acted more like your alter ego.
Kristina's baby, like many children of addicts, cries a lot and needs to be held more than other babies. Find out if your local hospital will allow you to volunteer to hold babies born addicted. If your community has no such programs, perhaps you could consider volunteering at a local drug clinic or an anti-drug program at your school.
Write a short story about what you think will happen to Kristina and her baby after the events depicted in the book.
There are several other books about teenage drug addiction, including Go Ask Alice and Smack. Read one of these other books and compare it to Crank.
Crank guide written by Cory Grimminck, Director, Hillsdale Community Library, Hillsdale, MI.
Find out what happens to Kristina
next in Ellen Hopkins’s
Walking with the Monster
Life
was radical
right after I met
the monster.
Later, life
became
harder,
complicated.
Ultimately,
a living
hell,
like swimming
against a riptide,
walking
the wrong
direction in the fast
lane of the freeway,
waking
from sweetest
dreams to find yourself
in the middle of a
nightmare.
You Know My Story
Don’t you? All about
my dive
into the lair of the monster
drug some people call crank.
Crystal. Tina. Ice.
How a summer visit
to my dad sent me
into
the arms of a boy—a
hot-bodied hunk, my
very first love, who led
me down the path to
insanity.
How I came home
no longer
Kristina Georgia
Snow, gifted high
school junior, total
dweeb, and
perfect
daughter, but
instead a stranger
who called herself Bree.
How, no matter
how hard
Kristina
fought her, Bree
was stronger, brighter,
better equipped to deal
with a world where
everything moved at light
speed, everyone mired
in ego. Where “everyday”
became
another word
for making love with
the monster.
It Wasn’t a Long Process
I went to my dad’s in June, met Adam
the very first day. It took some time
to pry him from his girlfriend’s grasp.
But within two weeks, he introduced
me to the monster. One time was all
it took to want more. It’s a roller-
coaster ride. Catch the downhill
thrill, you want to ride again,
enough to endure the long,
hard climb back up again.
In days, I was hooked on
Adam, tobacco, and meth,
in no particular order. But
all summer vacations must
end. I had to come home to
Reno. And all my new bad
habits came with me. It was
a hella speed bump, oh yeah.
Until I hurt for it, I believed
I could leave the crystal behind.
But the crash-and-burn was more
than I could take. When the jet landed,
I was still buzzed from a good-bye binge.
My family crowded round me at the airport,
discussing summer plans and celebration dinners,
and all I wanted to do was skip off for another snort.
Mom kept trying to feed me. My stepfather, Scott, kept
trying to ask questions about my visit with Dad. My
big sister, Leigh, wanted to talk about her new girlfriend,
and my little brother, Jake, kept going on about soccer.
It didn’t take long to figure out I was in serious trouble.
Not the Kind of Trouble
You might think I’m
talking about. I was pretty
sure I could get away with
B.S.ing Mom and Scott.
I’d always been such a good
girl, they wouldn’t make the
jump to “bad” too quickly.
Especially not if I stayed cool.
I wasn’t worried about
getting busted at school
or on the street. I’d only just
begun my walk with the monster.
I still had meat on my bones,
the teeth still looked good.
I didn’t stutter yet. My mouth
could still keep up with my brain.
No, the main thing I worried
about was how I could score
there, at home. I’d never even
experimented with pot, let alone
meth. Where could I go?
Who could I trust with my
money, my secrets? I couldn’t
ask Leigh. She was the prettiest
lesbian you’ve ever seen. But
to my knowledge she had
never used anything stronger
than a hearty glass of wine.
Not Sarah, my best friend since
fourth grade, or any of my
old crowd, all of whom lived by
the code of the D.A.R.E. pledge.
I really didn’t need to worry,
of course. All I had to do
was leave things up to Bree,
the goddess of persuasion.
Before I Continue
I just want to remind you
that turning into Bree
was a conscious decision
on my part. I never really
liked Kristina that much.
Oh, some things about her
were pretty cool—how she
was loyal to her family
and friends. How she loved
easily. How she was good
at any and all things artistic.
But she was such a brain,
with no sense of fashion
or any idea how to have fun.
So when fun presented
itself, I decided someone
new would have to take charge.
That someone was Bree.
I chose her name (not sure where
I got it), chose when to become her.
What I didn’t expect was discovering
she had always been there, inside of me.
How could Kristina and Bree
live inside of one person?
How could two such different halves
make up the whole of me?
How could Bree have possibly survived,
stuck in Kristina’s daily existence?
The Funny Thing Was
Bree solved the meth dilemma on a family
trip to Wild Waters, Scott’s annual
company picnic. Sarah came
along to spend time with
Kristina. But Bree
had other things
in mind.
The first was
a truly gorgeous
lifeguard. Turned out
Brendan wasn’t so pretty
on the inside, but even Bree, who
thrived on intuition, was cluel
ess. Hard
on the make, Brendan shared booze, cigarettes.
But one guy wasn’t quite enough. I
also ran into Chase Wagner that
day. His outside wasn’t as
attractive, but inside he
was fine. Of course,
I didn’t know
that yet.
I found out
soon enough that
both Chase and Brendan
knew the score—and both
were interested in me. Brendan
only wanted sex; Chase offered love.
Either way, I had my path to the monster.
Later, I discovered that Robyn, my
old friend Trent’s sister (not to
mention an “in” cheerleader),
tweaked to stay thin
and “pep up.” She
taught me how
to smoke it.
It didn’t take
long to immerse
myself in the lifestyle.
Didn’t take long for school
to go to shit; for friendships and
dedication to family to falter. Didn’t
take long to become a slave to the monster.
My Mom and Stepfather
Tried to stop me before
it all went completely wrong.
Kristina spent almost a whole
year GUFN—grounded
until further notice.
But Bree was really good
at prying open windows
at night, lying with a straight
face, denying she had
slipped so far downhill.
Nothing slowed me down.
Not losing my virginity
to Brendan’s rape. Not
spending a few days
in juvenile hall.
The only thing that kept
me sane was Chase’s love,
despite all I put him through.
He even swore to love me
when I told him I was pregnant.
Pregnant. And Brendan
was the father. Bree considered
abortion. Exorcism. Kristina
understood the baby was not
the demon. His father was.
But you know this part
of the story. You followed
me on my journey through
the monster’s territory.
We wound up here.
Who am I now, three
months after I left you,
standing on the deck
with me, listening to my